MISSING THE “BEFORE”

missing the aroma of caffeine as well as my ability to puff the cigarr stick

 

*argh* after seeing some pics of normal girls (yeah,I consider my self as an alien for now..) nainggit ako how they can enjoy life without worrying and without carrying any heavy responsiblities. They can do whatever they want, enjoying the night in bars, puffing some cigarr, drinking beer, wear fancy sexy clothes, spend unlimited time with their friends, going to the nearest cafe and drink some powerful coffee, in short they can go gaga on everything!! hy.

Here I go again regreting everything because of the foolishness I did. Now I don’t have the 100% freedom to enjoy.And it’s very sad on my part. Well hoping everything will get back to normal, but normally it won’t. I have bigger responsibilities now, I’m hooked up. Thinking that I don’t have any ways to escape from it, oh GAWD I don’t know if I’ll survive.! A treason, this is my place to be! tsk.

I can’t stop my depression. Now you see how important for me of having somebody here beside me who will take my depression away. tsk. “wala kasi si mommy eeh” hhe.

Well, inggetera tlga ako, kya I can’t control myself from regreting and from depression. But then, I don’t have any choice but to accept the reality and just start over again, look at the brighter side of my fate! (“,) besides a year isn’t bad to be a good girl huh? hha!

I hope everything will go smoothly and will fall into their right places. And regret no more.

FINALLY. *breath out*

*hha* finally, classes are over. I’ve already finished my finals requirements (book and movie reviews) as well as the 3 lesson plans that supposedly to be submitted on tuesday. Whoa.! Worries free na ako! hhe.

But then I felt so restlessss.. (-_-) plus the idea that my mom isn’t here so I don’t have someone to talked to. argh. my left torso is aching so bad that I cannot find any position to ease it plus I must not sit all the time because my dad is working so no one will “bantay” our “tindahan” (hhe..) My younger brother is too lazy to work on it specially he’s very much glued on the computer that no one can take him away from that techy. While my second brother who’s the “masipag” is not here. hhu. I hate a day that I don’t have anybody to talked with or I don’t have anything interesting to do. I kept on calling my mom (“mommy, umuwi ka na.. *begging*) and bry (“punta ka dito, ala ako mkausap”),spending money for a tel-cel conversation with him. So, adding these all situations, “I had a boring restless nonsense day”!!

Tomorrow will be another boring day for me, my mom needs to go to the hospital early in the morning to take in-charge again with my lolo who’s admitted to the hospital because of some serious problem with his health, so obviously, ehmjay will spend his time staring at the air hoping it will talk to him. hhay. ooh, but bry told me that he’ll go here, but I’m not sure if I’m going to believe it!. lol.. hha!

 

PS >> my tummy is aching.

I’m glad I’m a woman

I’m glad I’m a woman, yes I am, yes I am.

I don’t live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam.

I don’t brag to my buddies about my erections.

I won’t drive to Hell before I ask for directions.

I don’t get wasted at parties, and act like a clown.

And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down!

I won’t grab your hooters, I won’t pinch your butt.

My belt buckle’s not hidden beneath my beer gut.

And I don’t go around “re-adjusting” my crotch,

or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch.

I don’t belch in public, I don’t scratch my behind.

I’m a woman you see-I’m just not that kind!

I’m glad I’m a woman, I’m so glad I could sing.

I don’t have body hair like shag carpeting.

It doesn’t grow from my ears or cover my back.

When I lean over you can’t see 3 inches of crack.

And what’s on my head doesn’t leave with my comb.

I’ll never buy a toupee to cover my dome.

Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side.

I’m a woman, you know-I’ve got far too much pride!

And I honestly think its a privilege for me,

To have these two boobs and to squat when I pee.

I don’t live to play golf and shoot basketball.

I don’t swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.

I won’t tell you my wife just does not understand,

Or stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band.

Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep,

Then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!

Yes, I’m so very glad I’m a woman, you see.

Forget all about that old penis envy.

I don’t long for male bonding, I don’t cruise for chicks

Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick.

I’m a woman by chance and I’m thankful, it’s true.

I’m so glad I’m a woman and not a man like you!

– Well I’m so happy that I am a woman! lolz. Thanks to the one who wrote this. ;p hhe Try reading this one guys and see how exciting it is to be a woman.

FIRST LOVE THAT HURTS

A broken heart at your young age plus the idea that it is your first time to fall in love is very painful.

Well I had the chance to witness my brother’s first love affair to this girl whom used to be our not-well-known family friend. Since the day she involved in my brother’s life I knew it then that she has the power of hurting someone. *well if that’s what you call woman instinct.* Hey, I’m also a girl so I “must” know who’s sincere and who’s not. I kept bugging my brother about what and how I feel with this not-that-pretty girl whom he used to be crazy about. And what would you expect? Because he’s madly in love with her he has no time of listening to my stupid but senseless reactions. My mom start joining the scenario, she told me that I might be wrong of judging their relationship same with judging the girl. But I just couldn’t stop it, I know that there is something wrong about it. The girl didn’t showed any kind of proof that “hey this is the man I love” or what so ever to her FS account indeed what I saw was pictures of her past love affair and still exposing it to the public, no sign of my brother’s pictures. -So what’s the big deal?- I know there’s nothing to much to be talked about that situation but “hello”?? Can’t you give any respect to my brother’s feelings about those sweet pictures and captions?!? Right? So I warned him that he must be always ready coz any time this girl might leave him so stop sticking yourself too much in the relationship. But instead of thanking me he just started talking and talking hurtful things to me so I got mad and stopped meddling on them.

So weeks passed by.

While my mom and I was watching our daily drama, my brother finished taking a bath and walked in to dress up. My mom asked why he took a bath late in the evening. I didn’t heard the whole conversation but I was shocked when my brother started crying out loud hugging my mom and telling her that he doesn’t want to change anymore. My eyebrows crossed while my mother kept on asking why he is crying, I knew right then and then that the reason of that painful cry was her girl. Tsk tsk tsk. I was right. I know it will happen. Then he reached out to me calling my name and started hugging me while crying with bitterness. I felt very sorry for him. If he only listened to me then he will not be so hurt. L

Now I know that boys do cry also and suffer in pain caused by the one he loves. I realized it through my brother’s sad and painful experience.

To you young girl, you’re not that pretty to play with someone’s heart. Well, karma will do the judgment. Hope you’ll survive it.

To my brother, start moving forward- that kind of girl doesn’t deserve someone like you. Don’t ever blame yourself to that unhappy ending of your love story. You’re still young. Start gaining confidence and show her that it’s not your lost. OK?

And as for the young lovers out there, don’t be very serious in your relationship because as I said you’re still young and who knows there might be someone better than him/her. Don’t rush things, just go with the flow taking one step at a time knowing each other well. And also don’t forget to pray and ask for God’s guidance.

Blogging admires people.

Well, I think I need to spend the whole night sticking my eyes in front of this computer updating my newly made blog account. hha! I just don’t want to look at my page staring for nothing but a black layout with

“Not Found

Sorry, but you are looking for something that isn’t here.”

Urgh, and I hate staring at something like that. hhe. ;p

Anyway,  I want to take this chance of thanking Jill Beauty because she’s the reason why I start making my own blog site and taking off all the anxieties in me and just start  writing anything that will pop in my mind. And hell yeah I envy her works, hha! Paano nmn npakagnda and very interesting ng mga gawa nya, sinong hndi maiinggit wishing that she’s just like you. hha! oh db? tsk. I admire her because of her self confidence and strong personality. naks, I have a new crush! hha.

Now I know why blogging is so addicting. Writing releases the inner thoughts and feelings, letting you to express everything. Your words can inform, entertain and even admire people. One of the reason why I created one, to inspire people with my own experiences. *mushy*

Hoping you all will enjoy browsing at my works. hhe. –mjy